If you don’t feel like Jessica every single day then you should, so go grab a mirror and figure out why you are so great!
The Importance of Daily Affirmations
January 12th, 2012 § 0 comments § permalink
In a World of What If
January 2nd, 2012 § 0 comments § permalink
“We live only a few conscious decades, and we fret ourselves enough for several lifetimes.”
Christopher Hitchens, Hitch-22
We are walking, breathing, shitting, hand-wringing self contained piles of worry. We are consciously engaged in our own egotistic fantasy world of “what-if’s.” With the dawn of a new year, we create resolutions. I resolve to lose more weight, be better to my kids, drink more milk, take more vitamins, quit smoking, blog more, think more, wait more, etc and so on. This is our mantra every time a new ball drops in Times Square. “I resolve to…” is such a silly statement. We all know we aren’t going to do anything with those resolutions. For some of us, the hold out time will be about 2 weeks, then for some it will last a little bit longer. Then, we fall back into our old patterns and say “fuck it.” Pats on the back resume and we wait it out for another year to begin to start all over again.
Stop. Yes, stop. Resolutions are no more than the smoke and mirrors we place in front of ourselves to appear as if we have some sort of fortitude in the new year. We don’t want to be the same hand-wringing worry-warts like everyone else. We want to appear over-analytical of our own transgressions so that we can join the fray of “I did it!” We will never get there though. And that is when we once again become a part of the same herd bottle-necking into forgotten promises. We trudge along much as we did the year before.
Stop. Stop now and just live. Kick the resolutions behind you. Buck it up and have some goals. Goals are concrete, goals are fluid and they are reality. Goals say I will do this and I will do it come hell or high water. Goals produce success. Goals produce concepts for further goals. Goals make you happy. Goals get those endorphins popping and cause you to march to the beat of your own drum. Then, and only then, can you throw away all that doubt and fear. Goals aren’t always grandiose. They don’t have to be. And goals do not cycle in tune to Auld Lang Syne, either.
A New Year
December 30th, 2011 § 0 comments § permalink
Welcome 2012! The last month has been quite a process for me. I have been purging, choosing, diving, and compartmentalizing. On top of all that, I’ve been relaxing..yes I said relaxing. My mind feels clearer, I feel like things have slowed a bit. Even with all the hub-bub of Christmas and New Year approaching, I feel as if I am stronger in my resolve to just be who I am. I have reconnected to Flickr thanks to a gift from a dear friend. I have combined my two Twitter accounts into one. And I have made some changes to my other website and YouTube show that focuses on my other loves (craft beer, cooking, and culture.) This detox is becoming a slow road to success and happiness. Creatively I feel like I am coming back into my own. I’ve begun to crochet and make jewelry with much success. Up next is painting. And I’m about to open what I hope will be a successful, well planned Etsy shop. All in all, I predict a very successful year ahead.
Where Does Inspiration Come From?
December 14th, 2011 § 0 comments § permalink
I wanted to wait to post until December 25th. My plan had been to take one month to think, 30 days of rest from posting a blog entry so that whatever I communicated would be from the heart and insightful. Instead, I woke up this morning hopeful and needed to get this down in writing.
Christmas, or the holidays for that matter, is not a happy time for me. Since two years ago, when I raced on a plane to watch my baby sister dying amongst tubes and monitors, I have been in a constant search to make “this year better.” Last year, when I watched my home and everything I treasured fall apart, I stopped searching. I gave a good fight. I fought long and hard and this year I finally gave up. I let it all go.
Not every photographer or artist can be mainstream. Not everyone can be comfortable with branding and logos and websites and the endless chase of clients. I was so desperately trying to fit myself through a hole into a space where I didn’t belong. I was just small enough to squeeze through but completely in the dark once I got there.
I commented last night that I felt nothing with giving up my professional portrait photography business. Really, nothing. Last year I was watching it slowly slip from my hands and was distraught, depressed, and fighting harder. I think this year I knew it was time. I am hopeful, grateful, and feeling more inspired than I ever have before. The business is gone. The sleepless nights of endless culling and processing are gone. The panic at the end of every month that perhaps I wouldn’t get another booking to pay the rent is gone. The responsibility of reporting sales tax and forgetting; subsequently getting fined twice in one year is gone. The fear is gone. The ache in my heart is gone.
The inspiration is still here. I find it every time I see a gorgeous Texas sunset. I find it every time I know that next week I get to take a day off my day job to go hunting for beauty to photograph. I find it in the discovery that I can still draw and paint masterpieces. I find it in the beads and wire strung on my living room rug. I find it in color and taste and touch and smell. I find it in every nook and cranny of everyday life. There is something incredibly wonderful about everyday life.
